By Fred Diamond

When chronic illness and deep emotional trauma collide in a relationship, it can tear even the strongest bonds apart. But in rare, courageous cases, it can also forge something unbreakable.

That truth is on full display in a this week’s episode of the Love, Hope, Lyme Podcast. I had the privilege of interviewing David and Jacquie Butler—two longtime chronic illness warriors who have endured a decades-long journey through pain, mental health battles, and medical gaslighting—and have come out stronger on the other side.

Their story is not only one of survival but of love, endurance, and the profound healing that can come through honest connection.

David and Jacquie, high school sweethearts from New Jersey, have been together through nearly every stage of life: young romance, marriage, infertility, parenthood, and now chronic illness.

Their story—marked by childhood trauma, Lyme rage, and years of misunderstood symptoms—could have torn them apart. Instead, as they tell me on the podcast, it brought them closer.

Through their openness on Love, Hope, Lyme, they remind listeners that even in the darkest valleys of illness, there is light.

The Early Years: Love Before the Diagnosis

David’s Lyme symptoms began at age 10, years before he and Jacquie met. “It started with physical stuff,” he says. “By the time I met Jacquie, I had my physical ailments going on, but at that point I was dealing with severe psychological stuff too.”

Jacquie’s own health challenges began in childhood. “I struggled with my appearance, my weight, and was teased a lot. …Doctors would always tell me it was nothing—just a cyst or a pulled muscle. I kept thinking, ‘This isn’t normal. I feel like I’m 80 years old.’”

Eventually, Jacquie was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, polysystic ovarian syndrome, endometriosis and severe Hashimoto’s, an autoimmune condition affecting the thyroid.

Her determination to understand and advocate for her health would eventually become a foundation of strength for David as well.

Misdiagnosed, Overmedicated, and Lost in the System

David says that for decades he was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and treated with heavy psychiatric medications. He was experiencing hallucinations, psychosis, and terrifying mood swings.

“It was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” he says. “Jacquie never knew what to expect. I even asked her why she stayed.”

Her answer? “I stayed because I knew the real him was in there somewhere.”

Eventually, the trauma became too much. “She left and told me to get help,” David recalls. A psychiatrist diagnosed him with bipolar disorder and prescribed a cocktail of medications. “It made me a zombie. It buried the trauma and Lyme even deeper.”

Then came the breaking point. “On my birthday in 2011, I attempted suicide,” David shares. “But I survived—and I had an epiphany. God was there. He showed me a different way.”

Finally: A Lyme Diagnosis

It wasn’t until 2022—32 years after his symptoms began—that David was finally diagnosed with Lyme disease and Bartonella.

“For 14 months they thought I had ALS,” he said. “Then a doctor told me, ‘We don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you probably have a year to live.’ Four months later, I learned it was all Lyme.”

This discovery reframed decades of suffering. “People in my support groups told me, ‘Hashimoto’s is Lyme,’” David adds. “But Jacquie tested negative. It’s important to understand that not everything is Lyme, but Lyme is often at the root—or part of a complex mix.”

The Power of Psychotherapy and Breathwork

One of the most powerful parts of the podcast conversation is the couple’s shared experience with trauma-focused psychotherapy—specifically orgone therapy—which helped them access and release long-held emotional wounds.

“Sometimes I’ll go in energized, other times I’ll be flat,” Jacquie explains. “We breathe deeply, bring oxygen to the body, and strange things happen—your jaw locks, your skin tingles. That’s the trauma trying to come out.”

David started therapy in 2019 with two goals: “I wanted to give my son a better life, and I wanted to get off the meds.”

With his therapist’s help, he did both.

“She even said, ‘You don’t have bipolar. You have Lyme rage,’” Jacquie recalls. “When he stopped lithium, his tremors went away. That proved it to me.”

The concept of “Lyme rage” has come up frequently on Love, Hope, Lyme. I asked David to describe it directly to help listeners understand the impact.

“You black out. You scream, you throw things. You’re not you anymore,” he says. “You feel like something else has control. It’s like a demon inside you. Then you come out of it and think, ‘What the hell did I just do?’”

In his case, the mood swings weren’t day-to-day—they were minute-to-minute. “Dozens of mood changes a day. You don’t know who you are.”

Breaking the Silence—and Saving Lives

After his suicide attempt, David was told not to talk about it.

“But I did,” he says. “I posted about it on Facebook, and within a week, three people reached out. We helped them. That’s why I share. Silence makes others feel alone.”

David now leads online men’s support groups on Facebook for Project Lyme and he and Jacquie are writing a book about their journey. “I felt alone for decades. I don’t want anyone else to feel that way.”

Jacquie adds, “Healing doesn’t happen overnight. It takes years. But there is a way out.”

Advice for Other Couples

What advice would they give other couples where one or both partners are dealing with chronic illness?

Jacquieis blunt but loving: “You have to remind yourself why you’re with this person. It’s not them you’re angry at—it’s the illness. It feels eternal, but it’s a season. There’s light at the end.”

David urges couples to dig deeper. “There is a root cause to everything. Don’t just take the pill—do your own research, trust your gut, and never give up.”

At the end of the podcast, I ask David if he has anything to say to Jacquie after sharing their story.

“I wish we didn’t have to go through this,” he says softly. “But I’m glad we did, because it’s going to make us stronger. Lyme took our time, but it brought us closer.”

Jacquie agrees. “I don’t talk highly of myself often,but I know I’m strong. And this made us stronger.”

Their story, like so many shared on the Love, Hope, Lyme Podcast, is a beacon for others walking through chronic illness and trauma. It’s not an easy path—but as David and Jacquie show, it’s possible to move forward, to heal, and to love again.

Click here to listen to all episodes of the Love, Hope, Lyme Podcast or on YouTube.

Fred Diamond is based in Fairfax, Virginia. His popular book, “Love, Hope, Lyme: What Family Members, Partners, and Friends Who Love a Chronic Lyme Survivor Need to Know” is available on Amazon. The e-version (pdf) of the book is always free to Lyme survivors. PM Fred on Facebook or LinkedIn for your copy.