“Over My Dead Body”: A ten-year fight for diagnosis, healing, and hope
By Fred Diamond
When Mary Lyn Hammer first started feeling sick, she had no idea she would need to become a medical detective to survive.
Like so many Lyme disease survivors, her healing journey was long, complicated, and often lonely shaped by misdiagnoses, skepticism from medical professionals, and years of relentless symptoms that stole her quality of life.
“I didn’t even know what Lyme was,” Mary Lyn said during a recent episode of the Love, Hope, Lyme Podcast. “But I knew something was terribly wrong.”
Her journey led her to author “Over My Dead Body: What I Learned During My Decade-long Journey to Heal from Lyme Disease and Co-infections.”
A life turned upside down
Mary Lyn had always been highly functioning. She’s the type of person who thrived on helping others and getting things done. But in 2003, everything changed.
“I had a very successful career. I was healthy. I was active. And then I just started falling apart.”
Her symptoms came in waves: crushing fatigue, neurological issues, and pain that couldn’t be explained.
“It was like someone had flipped a switch in my body,” she said. “I went from being vibrant and capable to feeling like I was dying, and no one could tell me why.”
After seeing countless doctors and being misdiagnosed with everything from fibromyalgia to mental illness, she finally received the diagnosis that would make sense of her symptoms: chronic Lyme disease and multiple co-infections.
But getting the diagnosis was just the beginning.
The search for answers
“Once I was diagnosed, I thought, ‘Okay, now I can finally get better,’” Mary Lyn recalls. “But it doesn’t work that way with Lyme.”
She quickly learned what many Lyme survivors know all too well: there’s no one-size-fits-all treatment, and even the experts don’t always agree. “I tried antibiotics, herbals, you name it. I kept hitting dead ends,” she says. “I realized that if I wanted to get well, I had to start doing the research myself.”
And that’s exactly what she did.
“I became obsessed with understanding the science. I read medical journals. I studied genetics. I researched pathogens and how they interact in the body,” Mary Lyn explains. “I became my own medical detective.”
In her case, the clues went deep. She uncovered genetic mutations that made detoxification harder. She discovered mold exposure in her home that was compounding her illness. And she learned how viruses and co-infections were wreaking havoc on her immune system.
“I wasn’t just dealing with Lyme,” she says. “I was dealing with Epstein-Barr, Bartonella, Babesia and layers and layers of infections. It was like peeling an onion.”
Healing as a full-time job
Mary Lyn committed herself fully to healing, treating it like a full-time job. She built a team of integrative doctors, naturopaths, and functional medicine specialists. She shifted her diet, focused on detoxification, and learned to listen closely to her body.
“You have to become hyper-aware of what works and what doesn’t,” she says. “Even something as simple as a supplement can send you into a flare if your system isn’t ready.”
She also had to battle through moments of deep despair. “There were times I didn’t think I was going to make it,” she admits. “You start to question everything about your body, your mind, your worth.”
But what kept her going was her daughter.
“She was my light,” Mary Lyn says, her voice full of emotion. “Even when I couldn’t get out of bed, even when I was crying from the pain, I would think about her. I had to survive for her.”
Fighting for the truth
As her health slowly improved, Mary Lyn realized her story wasn’t unique, and that was a problem.
“There are thousands of people going through the same thing, and they’re not being believed,” she says. “They’re being told it’s in their head. They’re being gaslit by doctors who don’t understand chronic Lyme.”
This led her to write her book, “Over My Dead Body,” which exposes the systemic failures in medicine and education that impact chronic illness patients. While the book dives deeply into her research and advocacy efforts, it is also, at its heart, the story of a mother fighting to survive.
“I wrote the book because I didn’t want anyone else to feel as alone as I did,” she said. “People need to know they’re not crazy. They need to know they’re not weak. They are warriors.”
Lessons for other survivors
Now in a much stronger place physically and emotionally, Mary Lyn is eager to share what she’s learned with others navigating the maze of Lyme disease.
Her first piece of advice? Trust your instincts. “If you know something is wrong, don’t stop until you find someone who will listen. You are the expert on your own body.”
She also stresses the importance of hope. “Even on the darkest days, hold on. There were times I wanted to give up, but healing is possible. It’s not linear. It’s not fast. But it can happen.”
Another key lesson: you must become an active participant in your own healing. “This disease will force you to change everything from how you eat, how you think, how you live. But in that process, you’ll also discover who you really are.”
A message to the medical community
Mary Lyn’s experience also carries a clear message to the medical world.
“We need more education, more empathy, and more humility from doctors,” she said. “If a patient says they’re in pain, believe them. If treatment isn’t working, be open to alternatives. This rigid, dismissive approach has cost too many people their health and their lives.”
She advocates for a broader approach that combines the best of Western and integrative medicine. “We need to stop this false division. It’s not about one side versus the other. It’s about what helps the patient.”
Today, Mary Lyn continues to advocate for Lyme survivors, combining her personal experience with a tireless drive to uncover the truth. She’s not done being a medical detective, not for herself, and not for others.
“I want people to know they’re not alone,” she said. “I want them to know that even if no one else understands what they’re going through, there are people out here who do.”
And while her journey is still ongoing, she now walks it with clarity, strength, and purpose and with her daughter still lighting the way.
“My daughter gave me a reason to fight,” she said. “But now I fight for all the people who don’t yet have the answers. You deserve to be seen, believed, and healed. Don’t stop searching. The truth is out there — and so is hope.”
Click here to listen to all episodes of the Love, Hope, Lyme Podcast or on YouTube.
Fred Diamond is based in Fairfax, Virginia. His popular book, “Love, Hope, Lyme: What Family Members, Partners, and Friends Who Love a Chronic Lyme Survivor Need to Know” is available on Amazon. The e-version (pdf) of the book is always free to Lyme survivors. PM Fred on Facebook or LinkedIn for your copy.
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